These days, it seems the presumptive Presidential candidates can’t go more than three days without a controversy bubbling up about their supporters. Just recently, John McCain craftily associated Barack Obama with the likes of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, but then his shifty move came back to bite him in the derrierewhen news broke that one of his major boosters was none other than family patriarch William Barron Hilton. Needless to say, the mess was a headache the McCain camp surely wants to forget.

Luckily, they have a new simmering scandal in the works. According to the Boston Herald, Jonathan Crutchley, the co-founder of the risqué gay site Manhunt.net, donated the maximum possible amount ($2,300) to the McCain campaign earlier this year — an association that might not bode terribly well in some of the more scarlet regions of the Red States. In fact, considering that much of late July was spent linking Obama with the virginally challenged Paris Hilton, this support from the most unlikely of places does little to keep McCain looking squeaky clean.

To be fair, the McCain camp has vowed to return the donation to Crutchley, who has since promised to re-purpose the money towards the Obama campaign — though they’ve said they’d return the cash as well. After all, a pecuniary endorsement from a site whose motto is “Get on, Get Off” might not be the type of help Obama’s been looking for to sway those undecided votes.

As McCain and Obama both distance themselves from Jonathan Crutchley, Paris Hilton, and other purveyors of less mainstream lifestyle offerings, one has to wonder: what’s a sexually voracious citizen to do? After all, don’t these people have a right to be heard? Or should they be banished to the sidelines like Hester Prynne(assuming ol’ Hesty had a website detailing her nefarious ways)? Are their political donations somehow less worthy than those of the people who patronize them (often in dark, secluded places with a flashlight and a hanky)? And doesn’t this set a dubious precedent for donors — many of whom surely have some blots on their record? Is the guy who manufactures guns less objectionable than the woman who runs a saucy Internet cam?

It’s all very tricky, especially for those who like to think their party stands for open-mindedness. For the Republicans, this isn’t a problem. They can just say “pish-posh” and wash their hands of it all. The Dems, however, have to maintain their liberal street cred while still catering to the middle. I say rather than get tangled up with charges of hypocrisy, the Left should just open their arms and embrace the Jonathan Crutchleys of the world. After all, communities like Manhunt.net can be a massive recruitment tool. Take a tour of the site, and it promises college jocks, Latin papis, hairy daddies, muscle men, bi-curious, young and hung, total tops, thugs, black guys, and boys next door. Those are all valuable demographics! As the site says, “if he’s out there, he is on here.” I don’t know how much more obvious Manhunt needs to be! They might as well just hang a sign that says “PROSPECTIVE VOTERS HERE!”

For the time being though, the total top bi-curious Latin papis will just have to wait for their moment in the political sun. Our society is progressive, but not that progressive. Baby steps, people. Don’t feel bad, though, if either one of the campaigns needs an extra $2,300 down the homestretch. We all know where they can find it.

–Ben Mandelker